Sample of Amharic

Amharic is the official language of Ethiopia.  As you can see, its characters bear no resemblance to our own:

Translation:  "All human beings are born free and equal in dignity and rights. They are endowed with reason and conscience and should act towards one another in a spirit of brotherhood."

(Article 1 of the Ethiopian Universal Declaration of Human Rights)

The Window is Closed

Well, today our window officially closes.  A full six months on the wait list.  There is beauty in a closed window.  This will give me the time to read the two books I ordered last night on adoption related matters (we've compiled quite a library on this topic!), and we can also enjoy the two African lullaby CD's that should arrive any day.  With the holidays coming up, we're sure the next several weeks will pass quickly.

Almost Closed

When we receive our referral, our notice will come by phone.  Our Gladney caseworker, Mary, has explained to us that they notify the adoptive mother first.  So, Mary has my cell phone number and she has backup numbers.  When I receive "the call", it will be my responsibility to get Mark on a phone if we are not together so a conference call can take place.  Then, we both have to find a computer because as Mary is providing us the details of our referral she emails us a photo.  A multimedia birth.  Would it be nice to be in the same room to share this experience?  Absolutely.  Is it likely to happen that way?  Probably not.  Problem solving skills will have to prevail during what I anticipate to be an emotional phone call.  No problem, I say!  This is what I do practically every day at work!  We'll see.  It will be interesting for Mary to witness the release of my innermost stumbling idiot as I try to coordinate all of this as she waits patiently on the phone.

On December 13th, our window will close.  This means that the average wait time for a referral (4-6 mos) will have come and gone.  The cell phone has remained closer than usual and I get excited every time my cell phone rings Monday through Friday prior to 6pm EST and the caller ID shows "private number".  We know that we are at the point where our call can come at any time.  However, we aren't disappointed or growing impatient that our window is almost shut.  We know that our referral comes to us after a very difficult decision made by a family on the other side of the world.  It will happen when it's meant to happen.  

We continue to get ready, using this time to fulfill our 10 hours of Hague educational requirements.  We are gathering all that we can on attachment in adoption and devising our plan for what is commonly referred to as "cocooning".  Cocooning is that period of time after we arrive home during which our child(ren) will only see and know Mark and I.  More on that to come.  We are reading and reading and reading perspectives and advice on transracial adoption.  Perspectives from professionals, from adult transracial adoptees and from transracial adoptive parents.  Perspectives that are both difficult to hear and extremely positive, both equally important.  We look at the room that needs to be completed, and then shut the door vowing to do it "soon".  I look over Ethiopian recipes so we can celebrate at some point with an Ethiopian dinner, accompanied by a bottle of African red wine that we've been saving.  The list goes on.  But, most importantly, we've put a bottle of champagne in the fridge in anticipation of the call and successful problem solving!  

  

H2O

When you have a chance, take some time to explore this website.  It's easy to take something as simple as a clean glass of water for granted.  After spending some time on this site, I've vowed to never turn a glass of clean drinking water away because it tastes funny.  Instead, I'll be thankful that it isn't full of dirt and dead bugs...and I didn't have to walk miles to get it. 

   

Lalibela...It's Amazing!

Long ago, we came across information on the town of Lalibela, Ethiopia.  What this town contains is incredible:  churches that were excavated and carved from a solid piece of stone with the use of only hammers and chisels.  Read on...

The small town of Lalibela in Ethiopia is home to one of the world's most astounding sacred sites: 11 rock-hewn churches, each carved entirely out of a single block of granite with its roof at ground level.  Were it not for these extraordinary churches, Lalibela would almost certainly be well off the tourist radar. A dusty rural town nestled into rolling countryside, Lalibela only recently got electricity. It has few motorized vehicles, no gas stations and no paved streets. Isolated from the modern world, the town goes about its business much as it has for several hundred years.  Of Lalibela's 8-10,000 people, over 1,000 are priests. Religious ritual is central to the life of the town, with regular processions, extensive fasts, crowds of singing and dancing priests. This, combined with its extraordinary religious architecture and simplicity of life, gives the city of Lalibela a distinctively timeless, almost biblical atmosphere.  The town of Lalibela was originally known as Roha. It was renamed after the 12th-century King Lalibela, who commissioned these extraordinary churches. Lalibela was a member of the Zagwe dynasty, which had seized the Ethiopian throne around 1000 AD. When his rivals began to increase in power, Lalibela sought the support of the powerful Ethiopian Orthodox Church by building the churches in this small town.  King Lalibela's goal was to create a New Jerusalem for those who could not make a pilgrimage to the Holy Land (and to create a sacred city to rival powerful Axum, with its Ark of the Covenant). According to some reports, he had been to the Holy Land himself and was inspired by what he saw. But the king made no attempt to copy the churches of the Holy Land; in fact, Lalibela's sacred architecture could not be more unique.  The churches of Lalibela were not constructed — they were excavated. Each church was created by first carving out a wide trench on all four sides of the rock, then painstakingly chiseling out the interior. The largest church is 40 feet high, and the labor required to complete such a task with only hammers and chisels is astounding.  Popular legend has it that angels came every night to pick up where the workmen had left off. One of the churches, Bet Maryam, contains a stone pillar on which King Lalibela wrote the secrets of the buildings' construction. It is covered with old cloths and only the priests may look on it.  King Lalibela's project for gaining the church's favor had two unexpected results: the creation of a holy place of unparalleled beauty and the king's conversion to a religious life. After laboring for 20 years, he abdicated his throne to become a hermit, living in a cave and eating only roots and vegetables. To this day, Ethiopian Christians regard King Lalibela as one of their greatest saints.  The churches have been in continuous use since they were built in the 12th century. The first Europeans to see these extraordinary holy sites were Portugese explorers in the 1520s, one of whom noted in his journal that the sights were so fantastic, he expected readers of his descriptions would accuse him of lying.

Here is a link to some great pictures of the Lalibela churches and the life they contain.

Waiting...

Today marks our fifth month of waiting.  Last evening, we received word that the estimated wait time has increased slightly.  Rather than 3-5 months, it is now 4-6 months.  There are some new paperwork requirements in country which have slowed things down a bit, and the courts are running slower due to the growth of the Ethiopia adoption program.  No worries, we still have a lot...too much...to do!

I Dare You to Eat That!

Mark has informed me that on Tuesday night (11/11) at 10:00pm ET on the Travel Channel, Andrew Zimmern will explore the cuisine of Ethiopia.  The title of the show is Bizarre Foods With Andrew Zimmern.  I asked Mark, "Are you sure we want to watch this?".  Honestly, I would rather not know the details on some of the cuisine.  I just want to eat and enjoy it!  Here are some posted photos from that episode.  

Perspective...

Four

Four seasons, The Four Tops, The Final Four, four wheelin', Four Corners, Connect Four, four of a kind, Fantastic Four, The Fab Four, Four score and seven years ago, four eyes.  Oh, and four official months on the wait list!

Pot Luck

You might recall that, several weeks ago, I started a Yahoo Group for Ethiopian adoption families in Pennsylvania.  Yesterday, we attended our first pot luck get together in Honeybrook, PA!  There were about 5 families there, some who'd completed their adoption and some (like us) in process.  We had good food, good conversation and an opportunity to glean some valuable information.  We also had the chance to drink our coffee out of a traditional Ethiopian coffee ceremony set that one family brought home from Ethiopia.  If you'd like to watch an actual coffee ceremony, click here.  It was great to connect with these people and to meet their absolutely delightful Ethiopian children, ages 2 to 11.  As a group, we decided to schedule monthly get-togethers, and we are hoping more families will be able to join us.  Mark and I are are excited to have this connection with other families, for our sake and for that of our future child(ren).    

Ouch!

Preparing for travel means familiarizing ourselves with Ethiopian customs and accommodations.  It means looking into inflatable neck pillows, ear plugs and melatonin.  It also means shots.  Gladney recommends (but does not require) certain vaccinations for travel and, after consulting our very good infection control nurse friend and the CDC, we opted for most of them.  The last thing we need is to pick up an illness in Ethiopia and bring it back along with our child(ren).  Hepatitis A and B, Yellow Fever, Typhoid, Meningitis, Malaria, Polio and Tetanus boosters and routine vaccinations (with appropriate boosters) are all recommended.  Yesterday I opted for a delightful blend of Tetanus, Meningitis and Hepatitis A.  Today I can barely use my arms.  I'll go back in for round two shortly.  Mark will start his soon.  If our travel never comes to fruition, we will be the two most prepared people on our block if there should ever be an outbreak of developing nation diseases in Selinsgrove.          

A Borrowed Post

The family blog is a popular thing among adoptive parents.  We've created ours primarily as a communication tool for our friends and family who are spread far and wide, and we've managed to keep it fairly private.  Other families maintain a blog throughout their adoption process and beyond, intended for anyone and everyone to read.  It's all a matter of personal preference.  I've followed some of those "other" blogs, as they often contain useful information or a good story.  One such blog is "Our Own Rooney".  This blog has chronicled one family's adoption process and it is very well written.  I recently read a posting on this blog that really stayed with me, not just because it's a nice story, but because it reminded me that all too often I think we tend to forget that humans need one another, regardless of our circumstance.  Enjoy:

"I dropped Ted off at an afternoon meeting in Santa Monica, parked the car, and took Abe for a stroll to enjoy the cool ocean air. We stopped into an all-wooden toy shop and when we came out, I saw a scraggly older man sitting on a concrete wall next door. We had only a few minutes to wait until Ted got out of his meeting, so I meandered over to him. 

His smile that he greeted us with was all the invitation Abe needed to start saying "Hi!" to him. The man's face lit up even more as Abe made his acquaintance. He told me that his name was Miguel, and I asked if I could sit down next to him on the wall while we waited for "papa." He spoke about as much English as I speak Spanish, but I managed to find out that he was born in Mexico, lived most of his life in San Diego and has four children, all of whom are spread out across the country.

As soon as I sat down, he pulled out of his heavy overcoat a toy for Abe: the wind-up song part of an old baby mobile. He wound it up and handed it to him. Abe loved it. We had little to say, what with the language barrier, but Miguel, with his long white beard, cap, and sun-toasted brown face, just sat and smiled as Abe played with the toy.

An elderly Egyptian lady walked up as we were sitting there with Miguel and started to talk to Abe. She is the owner of a jewelry store around the corner and has been in this country for 37 years. I watched these two older people, neither born on American soil and both living in completely different situations, interact joyfully with my son. It's funny how a cute baby can bring people together.

Shaking hands with people is one of Abe's favorite things to do, so he held out his hand to the Egyptian lady. She took it and shook his hand. One shake is never enough for Abe, so he then reached for Miguel. And this is what broke my heart: Miguel furrowed his brows sadly, and shook his head no, gesturing to his dirty hands. Abe didn't understand why he wasn't getting his hand. So I shook Abe's hand myself, and then motioned to Miguel that it was okay. With a lot of convincing from both me and my son's stubbornly outstretched hand, Miguel caved. He offered a shake to Abe, which pleased both of them.

Miguel then gave Abe a colorful purple pen, which I tried to turn down, telling Miguel that Abe can't write yet. He insisted that Abe take it. For the next few minutes, Abe used the pen as a drumstick to beat on his wind-up toy while I sang "Old McDonald" and Miguel clapped along. Not long after, Ted came out of his meeting, and I introduced him to our new friend. I tried to give Miguel the pen again, but he shook his head and said, "No, for remember me" as he nodded his head in Abe's direction. 

Again with a lot of convincing, we managed to convince him to take a few dollars from us, but he seemed embarrassed that we were offering. I've been thinking about Miguel all day and how I heard once that all the homeless really want from us is an acknowledgment that they exist. Just a nod of the head, a smile, or a moment to talk.

It's so easy to turn my head and ignore the many homeless in Los Angeles. So many of them suffer from mental illness or drug addiction, so there's always this fear of them doing something unpredictable or scary. Miguel today just seemed to want a little company. He was a kind gentleman, more generous than a lot of us. I wonder what led him to the point he's in currently in his life, sitting alone on a concrete wall in Santa Monica, smiling kindly at and sharing his few possessions with my son.

All he wanted was to be remembered. I can't do anything but." 

- From www.ourownrooney.blogspot.com

  

The Window Is Open!

Yesterday marked our third month of waiting. With Gladney continuing to estimate a three to five month waiting period for referrals, this means that our window is officially open! Although our referral could have come at any time thus far, this makes something only as tangible as the paperwork involved feel a bit more real. Although our window is open, we realize it could close at the five month mark and we may still be waiting for our referral. With the window open, however, we also realize something else: perhaps we should start thinking about preparing.

One Month

It's been one month since our last post, and we haven't heard anything.  This doesn't surprise us.  Gladney still continues to estimate a 3-5 month wait time for referrals, and we are not within our 3 month time frame.  Additionally, we expect it to be closer to 5.  Again, no news is good news as far as we're concerned! 

We did start up a yahoo group for PA families that are adopting through Ethiopia which 26 families have joined so far!  There are families that are nearby...well, by nearby I mean within 45 minutes to 2 hours driving distance, which is definitely do-able for periodic get-togethers.  Many of the families seem to be excited about this and it will be nice to have this support network for us and our child/children.  

I came across this video...worth a look.

The September Campaign Trailer - www.borninseptember.org from charity: water on Vimeo." 

The Waiting...

There is a risk in international adoption that something somewhere at any time could either halt or stop the process temporarily, indefinitely or completely.  This is a risk that we've accepted, but oddly enough don't spend too much time worrying about until we have just cause to do so.  As we inch toward our second month on the wait list, we've taken on the attitude that no news is good news, and we assume that things are moving along just as they should and there are no glitches of which we need to be aware.  This attitude eliminates stress and anxiety that could result from a situation over which we have absolutely no control.  In the meantime, we pick up information here and there about adoption, attachment, transracial parenting, and parenting in general.  We tend to find that, at times, this overwhelms us more than the actual adoption process!    

We also look for "fun" information:  childrens music, books, information about Ethiopian culture, travel tips, etc.  Here is a link to some Ethiopian music, if you're interested in listening.   

Good News

We received an email today from Gladney letting us know that the in country slow down has resolved, and things are moving along.  That's good news for a Friday afternoon!

The Tips of Three Icebergs

I've found some interesting on-line reading this holiday weekend, so I thought I would share some with you.  Don't worry, this isn't all that we do for fun - we also plan to play with some sparklers this evening.  Inevitably, Mark will ask me if I've ever seen a sparkler burn twice, and then pretend to burn my arm with the sparkler in his hand that just finished burning.  That and some meat on the grill, and you've got yourself a holiday weekend at The Vergauwens!  

The first two items address the impact that education and global relief can have on children from developing nations.  The Girl Effect website addresses the first (make sure your sound is on, then explore the website after the video plays), and this article from The NY Times highlights the second.  That's not to say our country is without its own set of issues.  Here is an interesting article on racial relations in the US, specifically in what is typically thought of as the progressive northeast at Princeton University.  

There are your tips of three icebergs.  I'm sure you can find plenty more information on each of these topics if you'd like...or you can just go and play with some sparklers!

The Eagle Has Landed!

We received notification that our dossier, all 1.2 pounds of it, months in the making, was successfully delivered today to Addis Ababa, Ethiopia!  Now it will go where it needs to go to be reviewed and matched with a referral.  Right now, there is a bit of a slow down in country, so to date the 3-5 month timeframe for a referral still holds but may change at some point.  

Waitlisted...It's a Good Thing!

Mark and I just received the following:

"Dear Mark and Shira,

Kate informed me that your dossier is being sent to Washington D.C. for final authentication.  This means that you are officially placed on waitlist to receive a referral!   Adoptive parents have waited up to three to five months (on average) to receive a referral.  Please keep in mind that this timeline is an estimate and is subject to change at any time. Congratulations on making it through the tedious dossier process!"

Embassy and Myths

This is a picture of the Ethiopian Embassy in Washington DC.  We received word today that our dossier should arrive here in the next week or two for translation.  Then, it will be sent to Ethiopia for a match.

We have been reading a lot of books on adoption and international adoption.  I came across a list of Adoption Myths that I liked, and here it is.  This list was compiled by Dawn Davenport (her credentials can be found at the bottom of the list), who wrote "The Complete Book of International Adoption".  I just finished this book and it is full of good info.  Of course, other lists can be found, but this is a good one for starters.  If we were to add one myth to this particular list or others, it would be that adoption is pursued after other options have failed.  People are led to adoption through a variety of personal experiences.  In our case, adoption has always been an option that we have considered when talking about starting our own family.  

And Last But Not Least...

Through a turn of niceties, the past three days have been quite...well, nice.  After checking the mail almost daily for the past seven weeks (much like I did as a kid when I sent away for something off of the back of a cereal box) and seeing nothing in the form of an approval letter, I started to get concerned.  I was concerned because we fingerprinted in the York office and our paperwork was all being sent through the Philadelphia office.  So, on Monday I decided to call down to Philadelphia to check on our application.  I used a direct number I had gotten through an email from another adoptive family that is in the same part of the process as we.  The first time I tried I got an answering machine that clearly indicated this number was for emergencies only and leaving a message other than one that is not emergent was clearly forbidden.  Needless to say, I didn't consider our situation an emergency so I hung up.  I figured I'd try once more later in the day.  A man answered who immediately gave me the "this is for emergency issues only, we don't have the resources to check on application status, you just have to wait" speech.  Then he asked me when we sent the paperwork in and I told him.  Then he asked me for our last name.  When I told him, he said, "Wait a minute, I recognize that name...hold on a minute."  He put me on hold, came back and told me we had been approved on the 29th and should see our letter within the next couple of days.  How nice!  The letter arrived today so I called the bank to try to get it notarized within the next day or two.  The bank offered an appointment with the notary after hours so we could accomplish this.  Also very nice!

That's it - the last piece of paperwork needed for our dossier.  Tomorrow, I will send it FedEx to KBS Dossier Preparation and then the entire dossier will be sent to the Ethiopian Embassy in Washington D.C. for translation.  After that, it's off to Ethiopia for a match.   

 

Documentary

This evening we watched the 1 hour documentary on NOVA entitled "A Walk to Beautiful".  This is the 2008 documentary film about five Ethiopian women making the journey to the free hospital in Addis Ababa that was founded to address health issues related to childbirth injuries.  If you're interested, you can read a little bit more about it here, and check to see when it may be shown again on your local PBS station.  I believe it will be rerun tomorrow evening on most stations. 

The Infamous I-171H

We continue to wait for our final piece of paper - the I-171H.  If the 6 week timeframe experienced by our fellow Pennsylvania adoptive parent friends holds true, we should be seeing this in our mailbox within the next two weeks.  Of course, if we don't see it within that timeframe I will assume something has gone wrong.  I need to remind myself that we are waiting for US Immigration to approve our adoption - that government agencies do not run like clockwork.  Once we have it, our dossier is off to Ethiopia and we will be placed on the wait list.

The other night, Mark and I came across this information on Ethiopian beer while we were searching for Ethiopian restaurants (we'll probably try one of the restaurants in Baltimore).  If you have the opportunity to try one of the beers, let us know how it is!

Happy Easter...Again!

"Ethiopia and the Ethiopian Orthodox Church follow a different calendar called the Ethiopian calendar or the Ge'ez calendar. This year Ethiopian Easter (Fasika in Amharic) will fall on April 27th in our calendar. Easter is celebrated after 55 days of fasting from meat and dairy products. During this fasting season people generally do not eat until after 3:00pm; except on Saturday and Sunday, when meals are eaten after the morning church service. Traditionally, people will attend a church service Saturday night that goes into Easter Sunday Morning. The service usually ends around 2:00am, and people will go home and break the fast with their family and friends."  -Gladney website, Ethiopia updates

Mary is Our Go-to Girl

Mark and I had our first phone contact with Mary, our Gladney Ethiopia Caseworker.  She will remain our primary contact from here on out.  At this time, all timeframes continue to hold as predicted, of course one never knows what will happen.  One factor that comes into play is the closure of the Ethiopian courts for the rainy season.  This year, it is estimated that the courts will close from the beginning to the middle of August through the end of September to the beginning of October (she gave us exact dates that I can't remember right now).  This means that all court activity stops at this time, and there is typically a bit of a backlog when the courts reopen.  So, if we do not pass court prior to this closure, our case will remain at a standstill until the rainy season is over.  If, however, we do happen to pass court prior to this closure it will have no effect on our timeline, as the embassy continues to operate during the rainy season.  

      

One Approval Down, One To Go!

Mark and I submitted all of our required paperwork to Gladney, and we were notified today that we have been approved to adopt through this agency!  Mark and I have left ourselves open to the possibility of a referral for one infant or a toddler-aged sibling group.  Wow - we both anticipate this with a very nervous excitement that just doesn't seem to diminish in the least as time goes by!  At any rate, Gladney will send a copy of our home study to USCIS and we should (hopefully) receive approval from USCIS in approximately six weeks.  Once we get this notice - otherwise known as the I171H, our dossier is off to Ethiopia for a match.  Gladney continues to estimate a period of 3 to 5 months for a match, and once we are matched, it takes approximately 1 to 2 months to get a court date.  Once our case passes court we are then assigned a travel date, which tends to be a couple of weeks thereafter.  

Interesting Article

This is an interesting article recently published in the Los Angeles Times that I came across while I was searching for information on Ethiopia, Ethiopian travel, etc.  I find articles like this fascinating...and not just because we are adopting from the country that is featured.

Almost Done!

Some of you may have read the comment left by my brother Eric, wondering if I hadn't gotten sick on our social worker during our home study.  I just want to clear up the fact that, no, I do not have the propensity to vomit on guests that I am unfamiliar with.  I was sick the day of our home study.  

We are waiting on one final form (Mark's medical form) and then we'll send off the last of our paperwork to Gladney, our social worker, and to the woman assisting us with the preparation of our dossier.  It's exciting to think that we're almost finished!

One of the things that is unique to Ethiopia is the food and the dining style.  When I was in high school, I was visiting New York City for the weekend with my parents.  We ate at an Ethiopian restaurant and I remember loving it.  I loved the food and the way in which we all ate off of one large plate.  Silverware was not used; rather, we scooped up our food by hand using a flat bread called injera.  It was delicious!  Here is some more information on Ethiopian food.  Unfortunately, I'm not able to make the link to the video of an Ethiopian woman preparing injera as convenient.  YouTube is giving me fits.  If you're interested in watching it (it's short and interesting), just go to www.youtube.com and in the search box, type "injera preparation".  I believe it is the only video that comes up.  

Our Homestudy is Done!

On Saturday February 2nd, our Gladney social worker graciously drove from Indiana County PA to visit our home.  She was very nice and relaxed and very easy to talk with.   Four hours after her arrival she left and indicated that she had no reservations in recommending us.  Hooray!  Another step down...we'll keep you updated. 

The Paper-chase Continues...

Since we haven't posted anything since the middle of December, we thought we would post a quick update on the paperwork.  We're nearly done, but that is in no way indicative of being done soon.  It's like watching a football game, where 12 short minutes left on the clock usually means about 75 minutes of playtime (at least, that's what it feels like to me!).  Our paperwork to-do list is now basically divided into three categories: Gladney application, US Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS), and our foreign dossier.  Our Gladney application packet has been submitted and we only need to submit Mark's notarized medical form when complete, which we expect will be toward the end of January - we must also provide one for inclusion in our foreign dossier.  We received word today that a Gladney caseworker should be in touch with us in the next few weeks to schedule our home study.  On January 2nd, Mark and I were able to go to the York (1 1/2 hours away) USCIS support center for our USCIS fingerprinting as opposed to Philadelphia (3 hours away), as originally assigned.  It was actually pretty cool!  These fingerprints were all computerized, and it was a neat process to watch.  These fingerprints, once they clear, will be added to our USCIS file.  After the Gladney home study is complete, it too will be sent to USCIS and this will complete our USCIS file.  We then wait for our "golden ticket" (USCIS approval: the I-171H) to arrive so that we may add it to our foreign dossier.  Then, the dossier will be sent to Ethiopia.  Ahh, so close but yet so far...

I realized that I hadn't included a map of Ethiopia earlier.  So, here it is: